i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
