he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
