Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
