Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize
