Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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