went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize