There is no way he is gay with that hair.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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