If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
