Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
