The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
