I didn't shave. On purpose
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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