So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Randomize
