I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
