I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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