Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So many bounce houses so little time
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Randomize
