Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
