I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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