And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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