even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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