Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
My legs feel like baby dolphins
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
