I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
MIDGETS
????
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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