just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
