on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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