Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
