My liver just broke up with me...
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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