she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
