Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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