i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
