Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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