she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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