Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
