i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize