neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
