no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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