my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
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