just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Randomize
