I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
where are my eyebrows?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
