drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
