just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
