No stitches, just platelets and will power
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
