I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
