Midget sex pt 2 tonight
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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