I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
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