She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
