Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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