I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
