Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
