I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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