Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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