we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
