I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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