You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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