Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize
