Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
