The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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