I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
