it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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