Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
