it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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