it wasn't lemon gatorade
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize