ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
