Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
