Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
