I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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