I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Someone signed my nipple.
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